Top 20 things on my Mommy Christmas wish list

  • For all of my Amazon orders to arrive while my husband is at work
  • To have cereal become an acceptable meal for dinner
  • For everyone to just be happy with the color of cup they’re given
  • To receive no holiday cards with misplaced apostrophes on friends’ last name’ses
  • For my kids and husband to finally locate the actual trash can, instead of forever piling little bits of trash up on the kitchen counter DIRECTLY ABOVE the trash drawer
  • To sleep as soundly as my husband
  • For those little moth-like holes at the bellybutton-level of all of my t-shirts to magically seal back up again
  • To be able to eat a meal while it is still hot
  • For the “new car” scent in my SUV to return from it’s current “lost-string-cheese-under-the-third-row-seat” smell
  • To be able to jump on a trampoline without peeing just a little
  • For a horrific accident to befall the Elf on the Shelf
  • To figure out what the “CE” button is on my calculator
  • For my children to never realize that I’ve turned their clock later, so that bedtime comes sooner
  • To watch Scandal uninterrupted by requests for yet another drink of water
  • For yoga pants and big sweatshirts to find themselves as the hottest item on the runway this season
  • To pee without an audience
  • For my children to never cause me to exceed the limitations of my medication
  • To have my new book, Someone’s Always Watching me Pee (and Other Realities of Motherhood) top the NY Times Bestseller list
  • For peace on earth (or at least between my children)
  • To be given an Oscar engraved with the words, “World’s Okayest Mom” (to be presented by a shirtless Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy)

…but new slippers (maybe the kind to protect my sensitive heels from Lego shrapnel) and those precious hand-made ornaments are pretty great too.

Now- go out and get a copy of my book Someone’s Always Watching me Pee (and Other Realities of Motherhood) for all of the mommy friends in your life!

Merry Christmas!




The apostrophe

As you prepare to send out those holiday cards this year- PLEASE do not add an apostrophe to your last name!

It is not the St.Germaine’s. It is the St.Germaines. Or if you’re confused- just write “The (INSERT LAST NAME) family”.

But adding the apostrophe just leaves me asking “The St.Germaine’s WHAT”?

2 days until the Chi Omega Christmas Market in Dallas!


Join me this Wednesday and Thursday at my “Meet the Author” table at the annual

Chi Omega Christmas Market in Dallas, TX.

 I will be there signing and selling my book at the Preview party on Wednesday night and on Thursday.

Come over to Centennial Hall Fair Park and say hello.

All of your holiday shopping in one place!

Don’t miss it!

Fun pics from the Believe Boutique

Yesterday was a terrific start to the Believe Boutique in Gilbert.

There are hundreds of great vendors offering unique and creative gifts for everyone on your list.

Get that holiday shopping done all in one place!

Stop by my booth for some fun gift ideas incorporating

Someone’s Always Watching me Pee (and Other Realities of Motherhood)

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Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!


To let our kids win or to beat them heartlessly (aka Fair and Square)?  That is the question.

Now, mind you- I come from the school of “Not-Everyone-Deserves-A-Trophy-Just-For-Participating”.  I want my kids to be competitive, to have drive and to want to be their best.  However, my husband refers to our kids’ lack of effort as their “Give-a-crap-o-meter”.  When it comes to certain things, my kids just don’t care.  When it comes to school and grades- our daughter’s competitive meter runs extremely high.  When it comes to emptying the dishwasher- not so much.  Our son, on the other hand, has a competitive nature that is unparalleled.  For two minutes.  Until it’s clear he is not going to win at something.  Then he just gives up.  Someone must have been cheating.  Someone wasn’t playing fair.  It couldn’t possibly be that I am the Grand Master and High Priestess of Spoons, or that I can play Crazy 8s like a Boss.  Arms are then crossed.  Head is then dropped down with the scowl still evident on his wrinkled brow.  The boy hates losing.

For a while, when they were smaller, I would get so excited to see their joy in “beating me” at a game like Candyland.  Their proud squeals as they slid their little game pieces first into the Sorry “home row” filled me with delight.  Sure, I’ve been known to throw a game or two, but mainly in my earnest for the God forsaken game to just end already.  Apparently, I let that go on for far too long.  Do we help or hurt their self esteem by “playing left handed” or handicapping ourselves in some way?  Should I wipe their tears when I buy up all of the property and build hotels in Monopoly?  Where is the line?

Kids have to learn how to cope and maintain their positive sense of self when they come in second, or even last!

But here is where that stops.  No more taking a dive.  No more throwing the game.  No more sandbagging.

Will I occasionally question my resolve?  Of course?

But a card laid is a card played.