Someone’s Always Watching Me Pee is a humorous take on motherhood with chapters like Prozac Poster Mom- a better living through chemistry; Negligence Breeds Independence and Bangs or Botox.
As a stretched-thin mother of two, with my own Professional Organizing business, I understand the demands of a busy household.
Had my son been born first he would have been an only child. When he was a toddler (he is now six), I began to write down the stories that made me laugh out loud. I wrote about how every other Mommy in the Junior League seemed to have it all together, and how no one admitted to the help of pharmaceuticals.
Then, my Mommy posse stepped in. My day-drinking friends- who agreed that it was okay to occasionally steal from our children’s piggy banks- they were the ones who got me through what seemed like the toughest years of my life- the toddler years.
The more I researched and the more I wrote, I came to realize that there is no shame in asking for help. That no one has it all together and that the easiest way to make it through motherhood is to laugh at ourselves, but to laugh at others harder (It’s all forgiven if you follow it up with a “Bless her heart”).
This book is for all mothers (well, not the hippie, sling-wearing park feeders). It’s for women between the ages of 18 (God help them) and 48 (Sweet Jesus, you had a great fertility specialist!). It’s for mothers of only children or sextuplets (but who am I kidding- she probably has her own publishing deal already).
This book targets the frayed and frazzled mom looking for a laugh-out-loud funny parenting book that makes them feel a little less like June Cleaver’s handicapped step sister.
I carry on the honest, but funny mom baton into the next generation of mothers, offering unsolicited advice, unnecessary suggestions to avoid peeing a little when you sneeze, inaccurate medical statistics, unhelpful tips for keeping it all together and the possible illegal promotion of prescription medication.
Universal and truthfully funny, Someone’s Always Watching Me Pee is the black-and-white version of our best girlfriend. This book answers the questions that keep us up at night and makes us feel a little better when we lie to our children (“McDonald’s is closed today”). Welcome to my blog.