I cheat in Pilates

When living in Orange County, I discovered that I LOVED Pilates.  I’d taken mat Pilates classes before, which were great for stretching, but Reformer Pilates was a whole new deal-  and I quickly became obsessed.  The machine looks a little Medieval with its coils and pulls, but the core work and strength building moves made me a believer.  For about 3 years I’ve been religiously taking my reformer pilates classes about three times a week.  I even have a Reformer machine at home now too.  But there’s a caveat.  I cheat.  I play the part well in my Lulu pants and funny toe-d pilates socks.  I’m always on time and I have “my spot” over by the window (where the teacher lurks less).

The least obvious cheat (at least to those around me) is the: “Putting one spring less on the machine”.  They ask you to put on all your springs- I put on all but that one damn red one.

The next best cheat is the “I need to grab a drink of water in the middle of class” or the “My-toe-socks-need-adjustment” break.

Then there is the “Slow to an almost stop” when the teacher is looking the other way.  Luckily, there are mirror covering the entire wall, so I can see when she begins to make the turn to walk back toward me, and I then pick up the pace.

What I like best about pilates is that I get to lie down.  It’s like taking a nap – but while simultaneously getting a great workout.  The stretching at the end is pretty fabulous too.  Now, they just need to build on a “Nap Room” for after class.

I couldn’t run a mile if something was chasing me, so cardio is out.  I tried yoga once or twice but could not find my third eye, and am honestly not that invested in locating it.

I’d like to clarify something, though.   This is no reflection on the honesty with which I live my everyday life.  I am a rule follower.  I’ve never broken the law, never tried to cheat the system or dodge jury duty.  I only lie to my children (McDonald’s is closed today) and, apparently, always tell on myself anyway (Melissa, my pilates instructor now knows all my tricks).

So if you’re looking for a new way to stay in shape, get firmer abs and tighter buns- try Core Body Pilates (just don’t sit next to me looking for inspiration).



2 thoughts on “I cheat in Pilates

  1. i do love the way you write. it’s like you’re talking to me …and only me. maybe it was my assumption that you now expect me to admit to some group athletic shortcoming that underscored the realization of your perfection.

    so many times, what i write is one sided or ends in my having covered only part of the story …or worse, an incomplete thought that was hidden in humor. what you shared encompassed both a confession and the fact that you tattled on yourself and therefore your Pilate’s instructor would now know the truth. and then, to speed up the centrifuge of your discovery, you ended with an invitation to all women who wanted tighter buns to join in with you. perfect. absolutely perfect.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s