Mommy frauds

It is perpetuated in the movies. I’d like to meet that mom who comes home from the store with only two paper bags, one of which in inevitably filled with things like fresh fruit from a farmer’s market, carrots, (not the kind that come peeled and cut into bite-sized nuggets for dipping in ranch like mine, but the ones that have those green leafy tops hanging over the brim of the bag) and a fresh, French baguette.

In real life, the moms actually have a red box of Cheese Itz and hemorrhoid cream sticking out the top of one of the 12 torn plastic sacks she is juggling to get into her trunk as the cart rolls precariously toward a neighboring Mercedes.

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3 thoughts on “Mommy frauds

  1. i’ve seen the single mom that you’re looking to meet. she’s one of a dozen who come into my shopping center once a week for her hair appointment, manicure and pedicure and then moves over a suite or two to get her massage from Ruger and a spray tan next door at the trendy Son of a Beach. it’s an all day affair that includes having the deli bring in lunch for herself and the girls at the salon but now that she’s divorced, she’s got the time and money to pay for it.

    actually, you probably would have met her had you not caught your shopping cart from banging into her Mercedes. she hasn’t eaten a meal at home since the split so don’t let the fresh fruit and veggies fool you. they’re not for her. they’re for her live in gardener, Rojellio, a hard bodied Latin who keeps her bushes trimmed and flowers watered in return for use of the guestroom and diction lessons.

  2. Great visual, particularly the bit about cream.
    You have a real eye for life and a unique way of describing it so readers can identify.
    Don’t ever stop.

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