Well, it was bound to happen. In this day and age of iTouches, laptops and iPhones- my kids were bound to come across something I’d wish they hadn’t. Something that would cause a barrage of questions, and then an endless interrogation would ensue.
It began with the headline in the grocery store checkout, which read “Sex Scandal Tapes Revealed”. My inquisitive 10 year old daughter asked:
Daughter: “What’s that”?
Me: (Dear God, help me) “Where did you hear that”? (Having dreaded “The Talk” this entire past decade).
Daughter: “I just saw it on the magazine in line”
Me: “Well, it can mean a couple of things. Sex indicates whether you are Male or Female. i.e. your ‘sex’. Or, it can describe something- like being sexy. ‘Sexy’ is when adults try to look attractive to others. Making kissy faces, wearing revealing clothes, etc. Being ‘sexy’ isn’t something kids should do- and is inappropriate. In the case of that magazine, a woman sent out ‘sexy’ pictures and videos of herself- and it made news. She must not have very much self-confidence or self-respect to do something like that- and it’s very sad”.
There. That ought to tide her over.
Daughter: “Like the penis website”?
—Now, let me back up here by saying that earlier this summer while my daughter was visiting Grandma- they wanted to see a movie, so Grandma suggested that my daughter look up some of the movies playing. “Let’s go see The Crocks'” Grandma suggested (I’m sure meaning ‘The Croods’). But when my daughter Googled the movie title, she left out the “r” and typed in “c-o-c-k-s” instead. Great. Much to her shock and horror, a hundred pictures of penises came onto the screen. She quickly clicked out, but not before it had been burned into her brain, from which she’d retrieve it- and bring it up to me at this particular moment.—
Me: “Yes. Like the penis website”. (Mental reminder- install nanny cam and research Parochial schools).
I’d like take a moment to defend my parenting skills here and make it clear that her iTouch and the family iPad have both had their internet access and search engine capabilities turned off since Day 1, and that the laptop she has for school has parental controls like our home computer. But when you Google on Grandma’s phone- who knows what will come up!
Needless to say, my hand was forced and I sat my daughter down for “The Talk” at age 10- a little younger than I’d hoped she would be exposed to things. It feels like she just grew 5 years older in those 30 minutes. Aside from putting books on her head to stop her from growing any more, I am running out of ideas to keep my first born – My innocent little girl.